Thought I should update this here blog before a full year goes by.
Went to a Cinco De Mayo party on Thursday night at the 4th St. Recording Studio in Santa Monica, and I'd like to tell you all about it.
We arrived late, around 11:45, and the party was mostly over. I had to pee, and the bathroom was pretty grim. The sink was wrapped in a trash bag. A note on the faucet read, "Out Of Order," but that didn't stop the previous pee-er from leaving the water on, overflowing this sink. I turned it off and went on my way. Didn't want to mess with that.
Then a middle-aged man in a baseball cap told me I looked like I needed to, "get FUCKED UP and FUCKED." And they say that chivalry is dead.
There were very cute candles all over - tea lights in limes. Adorable. An intimidatingly good-looking black man in dreadlocks told me he could do something secret and special with the limes. I followed him up to a loft area where he told me he was an artist- very successful, very successful. He had me put the lime in my hand, told me to close my eyes, and whispered, "You are looooooved."
I wanted to spit in his face.
He asked me if I had a lover and if I'd ever loved a black man before. He said I was, "a warrior full of light," and was pretty sure I should let him paint my nude portrait. He was not phased when I told him I had poison oak all over my legs. I guess I should have told him that I had syphilis. What a maroon.
I told him that my friend had hidden some tequila downstairs and that he should try to find it. I went to a bar down the street with my crew. Looking back on it, I'm fairly certain that everybody at the party was rolling, which would explain a lot. We went back later in the night and then had to leave when a dude stood behind me and rubbed his boner on my butt. SRSLY? At least get me a beer first, dude.
The bar was great. My buddy knew the bartender from work and he gave us two free shots of tequila. Then some other dude bought us a round for no good reason - I think somebody bummed him a smoke? In any event, I love generous drunks. Especially when they apply that generosity to getting me drunk.
Other stuff happened, but those were the funniest parts. In the morning, I felt like this:
I'm dead now!
