People are jerks.
Jerks.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Alright, Internet..
I've finally got a real humdinger for you!
What constitutes, "Previous?" As in, "Previous" vs. "Next." Because this is not uniform and it's jamaican me craaaaazy.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
I mean...really?
That's my reaction to the big world events lately. "Really? No...REALLY?!?!" I can't engage in meaningful discussion because everything I see and read is alternately terrifyingly stupid and stupidly terrifying.
Gulf of Mexico fills up with black goop, everything and everybody is about to fucking die, but let's do some more offshore drilling because we totally need it and it's actually totally safe - REALLY?!?!
Arizonans are angry that they don't have jobs so we're moving hastily toward a society that is uncomfortably similar to a South Africa under Apartheid situation - REALLY?!?!? DID WE LEARN NOTHING FROM DISTRICT 9?*
The Countess de Lessepsepsicola releases 1992 house dance music track - REALLY?!?! YOU NEED TO STEP DOWN AND BOW TO THE QUEEN.
In conclusion: RuPaul for president.
*I actually haven't seen District 9 (I know, I know) but I've read a lot of Fugard. So...same thing?
p.s. More Ru:
p.p.s As long as the world is ending, we need a few non-house tracks to groove to. I submit: Klaus Nomi.
Exquisite:
"Taken from Klaus Nomi's unfinished space-western opera ZABAKDAZ.
ZABAKDAZ is a collection of songs Klaus Nomi was working on up until his death in 1983, released posthumously in 2007" I MEAN COME ON, LET'S ALL JUST GIVE UP RIGHT NOW.
Really? Really.
Gulf of Mexico fills up with black goop, everything and everybody is about to fucking die, but let's do some more offshore drilling because we totally need it and it's actually totally safe - REALLY?!?!
Arizonans are angry that they don't have jobs so we're moving hastily toward a society that is uncomfortably similar to a South Africa under Apartheid situation - REALLY?!?!? DID WE LEARN NOTHING FROM DISTRICT 9?*
The Countess de Lessepsepsicola releases 1992 house dance music track - REALLY?!?! YOU NEED TO STEP DOWN AND BOW TO THE QUEEN.
In conclusion: RuPaul for president.
*I actually haven't seen District 9 (I know, I know) but I've read a lot of Fugard. So...same thing?
p.s. More Ru:
p.p.s As long as the world is ending, we need a few non-house tracks to groove to. I submit: Klaus Nomi.
Exquisite:
"Taken from Klaus Nomi's unfinished space-western opera ZABAKDAZ.
ZABAKDAZ is a collection of songs Klaus Nomi was working on up until his death in 1983, released posthumously in 2007" I MEAN COME ON, LET'S ALL JUST GIVE UP RIGHT NOW.
Really? Really.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Frequently Asked Questions - Answered
FAQ
Q: What do you say when you’re offered a crass opinion, masked as a compliment, on your anatomy?
Q: What do you say when you’re offered a crass opinion, masked as a compliment, on your anatomy?
A: “I grew them myself.”
Q: What do you do if the toilet overflows late at night?
A: Lock the bathroom door and leave the apartment and never come back.
Q: What do you say when you find a parking space?
A: “Thanks.”
Q: What do you do if your shoes don’t fit?
A: Learn to adapt.
Q: What do you say when you’re asked to repeat yourself?
A: “Nevermind.”
Q: What do you do if you need to replace the doorknob?
A: Let it work itself out.
Q: What do you say when you can’t find something?
A: “It’s always the last place you look.”
Q: What do you do if you realize it’s over first?
A: Wait it out.
Q: What do you say when somebody tells you they’re going to break your heart?
A: “Get in line.”
Q: What do you do if you change your mind?
A: Pretend it was always this way.
Q: What do you say if you forget your keys?
A: “Heaven is just a phone call away.”
Q: Why doesn’t it work?
A: Have you tried plugging it in?
Q: Is it going to be okay?
A: It’s going to be okay.
Q: Is it going to be okay?
A: It’s going to be okay.
Q: Is it going to be okay?
A: It’s going to be okay.
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