Sunday, May 2, 2010

Frequently Asked Questions - Answered

FAQ

Q: What do you say when you’re offered a crass opinion, masked as a compliment, on your anatomy?

A: “I grew them myself.”

Q: What do you do if the toilet overflows late at night?

A: Lock the bathroom door and leave the apartment and never come back.

Q: What do you say when you find a parking space?

A: “Thanks.”

Q: What do you do if your shoes don’t fit?

A: Learn to adapt.

Q: What do you say when you’re asked to repeat yourself?

A: “Nevermind.”

Q: What do you do if you need to replace the doorknob?

A: Let it work itself out.

Q: What do you say when you can’t find something?

A: “It’s always the last place you look.”

Q: What do you do if you realize it’s over first?

A: Wait it out.

Q: What do you say when somebody tells you they’re going to break your heart?

A: “Get in line.”

Q: What do you do if you change your mind?

A: Pretend it was always this way.

Q: What do you say if you forget your keys?

A: “Heaven is just a phone call away.”

Q: Why doesn’t it work?

A: Have you tried plugging it in?

Q: Is it going to be okay?

A: It’s going to be okay.

Q: Is it going to be okay?

A: It’s going to be okay.

Q: Is it going to be okay?

A: It’s going to be okay.

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