Everywhere, everywhere

MY FAVORITE PLACE
A Theme.
By Me.

Because my head hurts and because there's a staff meeting that I can't go to as I am a-waitin' for the ringy-ding-ding of the telephone, I would like to tell you about the very greatest of strip malls in the history of forever and always and ever and anywhere.

On the corner of Lincoln and Rose, just a bit off the 10 as Santa Monica gradually and just almost perceptibly (there is a sign) fades into Venice Beach, on the West side of Lincoln, you will find a strip mall. A strip mall of such remarkably unmatched quality that I sincerely doubt there is any reachable for mammals that even approaches its level of perfection. It is a veritable melting pot of many of the things that make this land great. In other words, it has almost all the things that you want or need that you can get by fishing out a few bucks. It's got a CVS, which isn't so much fun, but sometimes you gotta refill that prescription mouthwash for your soft teeth. So begins our convenience odyssey.

There is an ARCO, stocked as always with relatively cheap gasoline, complete with Snack Shop and restroom for those long trips. You'll also find a Thoma's Burger. Or maybe it is a Thomas' Burger. We will never really know the true name of this seller of chili burgers, hot dogs, and a very fine patty melt. There are two signs, you see, and they contradict. Thoma or Thomas is conflicted, just like you and me, but he is still nice enough to provide an enormous jar of pickled jalapenos for the adventurous, and a collection of arcade games (Street Fighter AND Ms. Pac Man) for your enjoyment. Maybe you will want to play them while you wait for your things to finish spinning at...

The laundromat! Yes, yes, there is also a laundromat to accommodate all of your washing, drying, and folding needs. But our odyssey of serviceability and of joy is not over - oh no, it is not. It's time to venture next door into the Whole Foods. This is the most recent addition to the Lincoln/Rose intersection team, and you might assume it's the best thing about this strip mall. And I can see why you would think that. After all, it is very large, but it is much less overwhelming than 3-floor Wilshire location, which is just too much Whole Foods for a normal human to process. And, of course, it's got all those 365 foods you just love to munch, nibble, crunch, and generally masticate, as well as a killer produce section. But it's not the very best thing about this strip mall.

The very best of all might just be the 99 Cent Store. Personally, I feel a little burst of joy in the center of my chest every time I see the pink and turquoise 99 up there right next to the green and white WF. Before I didn't realize, but now I know deep in my heart that these are two stores that were always meant to be next door to each other. I probably don't need to explain the joys of the 99 Cent Store - the strange chocolate sauce bear with a real ribbon bow-tie? The vast assortment of awkwardly sized tupperware? Delicious almond cookies and sometimes even wine and shampoo and - whoa, watch out for that expired oyster salad over there. Oyster salad, really? Oh, it's all part of the fun!

So that's it for our strip mall, the greatest in all the land. Of course, the proximity of La Cabana across the street (tasty mexican food and margaritas served till 3 am EVERY DAMN DAY) and Groundwork half a block up Rose also add to the immense charm of this most satisfying of all West Side Los Angeles buying-things-places. Thanks for reading about my favorite place. Maybe my choice says a lot about me - that I mostly care about food, food, other food, sometimes video games, the proximity of public restrooms, and prescription mouthwash. And I can't really argue with that. What is your favorite place?