Where's my autoharp when I need it?

I am a major fan of Ucc Coffee.

WITH MILK.

Otherwise, the silence is both entrancing and off-putting. And the future rolls back toward me; I'm like a silent film comedian wrapped up accidentally in the rug. I meant to do that.

Signing with an agency on Thursday. So that's exciting.

NEWSFLASH!

People are jerks.

Jerks.

Alright, Internet..

I've finally got a real humdinger for you!

What constitutes, "Previous?" As in, "Previous" vs. "Next." Because this is not uniform and it's jamaican me craaaaazy.

I mean...really?

That's my reaction to the big world events lately. "Really? No...REALLY?!?!" I can't engage in meaningful discussion because everything I see and read is alternately terrifyingly stupid and stupidly terrifying.

Gulf of Mexico fills up with black goop, everything and everybody is about to fucking die, but let's do some more offshore drilling because we totally need it and it's actually totally safe - REALLY?!?!

Arizonans are angry that they don't have jobs so we're moving hastily toward a society that is uncomfortably similar to a South Africa under Apartheid situation - REALLY?!?!? DID WE LEARN NOTHING FROM DISTRICT 9?*

The Countess de Lessepsepsicola releases 1992 house dance music track - REALLY?!?! YOU NEED TO STEP DOWN AND BOW TO THE QUEEN.



In conclusion: RuPaul for president.

*I actually haven't seen District 9 (I know, I know) but I've read a lot of Fugard. So...same thing?

p.s. More Ru:


p.p.s As long as the world is ending, we need a few non-house tracks to groove to. I submit: Klaus Nomi.



Exquisite:


"Taken from Klaus Nomi's unfinished space-western opera ZABAKDAZ.
ZABAKDAZ is a collection of songs Klaus Nomi was working on up until his death in 1983, released posthumously in 2007" I MEAN COME ON, LET'S ALL JUST GIVE UP RIGHT NOW.

Really? Really.

Frequently Asked Questions - Answered

FAQ

Q: What do you say when you’re offered a crass opinion, masked as a compliment, on your anatomy?

A: “I grew them myself.”

Q: What do you do if the toilet overflows late at night?

A: Lock the bathroom door and leave the apartment and never come back.

Q: What do you say when you find a parking space?

A: “Thanks.”

Q: What do you do if your shoes don’t fit?

A: Learn to adapt.

Q: What do you say when you’re asked to repeat yourself?

A: “Nevermind.”

Q: What do you do if you need to replace the doorknob?

A: Let it work itself out.

Q: What do you say when you can’t find something?

A: “It’s always the last place you look.”

Q: What do you do if you realize it’s over first?

A: Wait it out.

Q: What do you say when somebody tells you they’re going to break your heart?

A: “Get in line.”

Q: What do you do if you change your mind?

A: Pretend it was always this way.

Q: What do you say if you forget your keys?

A: “Heaven is just a phone call away.”

Q: Why doesn’t it work?

A: Have you tried plugging it in?

Q: Is it going to be okay?

A: It’s going to be okay.

Q: Is it going to be okay?

A: It’s going to be okay.

Q: Is it going to be okay?

A: It’s going to be okay.

I HAVE TAKEN THIS AD DOWN

Because I don't want to sell this easel, actually. My sales pitch was so good, I sold myself. Oops.

Gorgeous Antique Artist's Easel - Make Art or Display It! - $100 (Washington Blvd & Centinela)

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Date: 2010-04-26, 4:17PM PDT
Reply to: sale-4zdqc-1711779979@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

---

I picked this easel up a few years ago when I was living in Baltimore. The owner of an apartment building near my place decided to get rid of the mountains of stuff people had left behind in their storage spaces over the years. I don't think that basement had been cleaned up, well, ever and so there were lots of treasures to be found. Including this faaabulous easel!

I don't really know anything about easels, but I do know what I like. And I like this. My (admittedly) extremely cursory research tells me that new easels usually cost $150+ and are made of ugly light-colored wood. This thing looks wayyyy cooler. How can you make amazing art on an ugly easel? Huh? How? I'm a musician, not an artist, but I've used the easel to display paintings and it looks very neat. Lotsa' character in this piece. You don't have to make art on it - it can be art! A found object piece, if you will. This easel really does it all.

There is a brass (?) label on the easel identifying it as a Grumbacher. I don't know if that has any significance but I do know that's a funny name. Makes me think of hats. That's another thing you could do with this easel: hang your hat on it. Amazing.

You could put it in your room and imagine you are a starving artist in post-war Paris, wearing striped shirts, giving up food to buy paint, giving up women to focus on your soul's work. Or imagine you are a little old purple-haired lady in Baltimore who took up painting after her cat died. Or something more positive, certainly. It's not really a negative easel. Think of this way: I provide the easel, you provide your own fantasy lifestyle. And also provide your own pick-up. Thanks!

• Location: Washington Blvd & Centinela
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• OK to contact me about appearing in CL documentary series

Bleep bloop bleep

I recently watched the first episode of 21 Jump Street. Almost immediately, a middle class white family is attacked by black people.


Very fashionable black people.


Seriously, maybe it's a generational thing, but I don't see how anybody can take a dude in a Thriller jacket seriously. Even if he does have a gun.


The jeri curl isn't helping matters. He looks like he's wearing a Halloween costume. Is that a rubber gun?

Alright, shit just got sexy.

Overall, terrifying.